Beware the Doxies
by Hazel Maraa
Summary: Warning: there is a vicious murder inside. beware. but this has all the faves: pineapple, water balloons, mice, branch of tree, and umbrella. You know you wanna read it! :]] No pairings, oneshot.


I disclaim.

Okay, this story is for a fic challenge at finalprophecy, it's a cool RPG type thing. Yeah. So this is fic chlng #3. so yeah. cha!

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"Oh come on Harry, it was a _joke!_" Ron Weasley said exasperatedly as his best friend Harry Potter (yes, _the_ Harry Potter) grumpily plopped down onto the bench at Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Harry glared at Ron, while their other best friend, Hermione Granger, sat elegantly across from them. Hermione arched an eyebrow in their direction.

"What did you do _this_ time, Ron?" She asked him. Ron turned at her incredulously.

"What makes you think _I_ did anything?" Hermione Looked at him. The evil, secret-spilling _Look_. Capitalized. Ron lasted a full six point five and a half seconds under that unrelenting Look. Hermione had it perfected. "Okay, so I sorta kinda maybe woke Harry up with water this morning. I know!" He added in exclamation as Hermione turned the Look towards Harry. Harry glared at the world in general, and said huffily,

"They were water _balloons_, not just _water._ There is a _difference,_ and it is a loud,breaking, _popping_ difference." Hermione gave the Look back to Ron, who tried and failed to look innocent enough to get off the hook. At that moment, Ginny (Ron's younger sister) sat down next to Hermione with a cheery wave. But Harry saw that glint of _pure evil_ in her brown eyes. He saw!

...Okay, maybe he was exaggerating a bit.

So it wasn't exactly_ evil_, but still.

"Harry?" Ginny asked eventually. Harry looked at her. He would have Looked at her, but males are incapable of using the Look successfully, so he looked at her, 'cause that was the best he could do.

"Yes, Ginny?" Harry asked her stiffly. Ginny bit her lip. "What do you want, woman?" He snapped after she didn't say anything.

"Fine, don't let me stop your embarrassment, sheesh. Just _trying_ to be _nice,_ but what do I get? Nothing, that's what!" Ginny muttered, obviously irritated. But then she and Hermione started snickering. And so did Ron. Harry stopped his hissy fit to ponder this. Snickering? At him? What? Wait, Ginny said 'embarrassment', so that meant... _Malfoy..._

_"Mr. Potter!" _A shrill voice shrieked from the head's table (and was angrily stomping towards him). Harry looked in surprise at McGonagall. "_Why_ is there _mice_ glued to your back?" Harry blinked.

Well.

That was unexpected.

Ginny stuffed a fist in her mouth to avoid gales of laughter. Harry blinked at her too. _Mice?_ Why would there be _mice_ glued to his back? And why was there mice glued to his _back? _See that? That's clever use of the italicize button, right there.

"Well?!" McGonagall said expectantly. Harry slowly looked around for some type of escape. There was none.

Blast.

"Uh.." Harry looked around again, but this time to try and find an excuse. "Because I..." He spotted Oliver Wood looking dead on his feet (even though he was sitting, at the moment), drinking coffee. "had Quidditch practice... and I was really exhausted last night..." Harry saw Neville shaking (he was being grinned at by Flitwick), and quickly thought of something that shook wildly. "and I had a strange... dream about... the third goal-post closest to the school on the Quidditch field..." Then he spotted Hagrid coming in, soaking wet, with his polka dotted umbrella/wand thing closed and in his half-giant hands. "and the goal-post had purple polka dots on it, 'cause..." Fred and George Weasley caught his eyes (flaming red hair and whatnot) and they were holding a piece of something that looked kind of like a piece of pineapple... not that Harry knew what pineapple looked like or anything. "And George Weasley was belting pineapples at Fred, who was hitting them away towards the shaking goal-post...?" Harry finished 'strongly'. McGonagall rolled her eyes at him.

"Mr. Potter, detention tomorrow night for lying to a teacher." Harry grew an outraged look on his face.

"What! I'm not lying! I really _did_ have a dream about the goal-post having purple polka dots on it from having pineapples pelted at it by Fred and George!" Harry hoped desperately that that _was_ what he'd said the dream was about.

"Another detention, and thirty points off Gryffindor for lying _again._" McGonagall smirked at him, and prowled away. The quadruplet (stupid Ginny, making it a much longer, harder to spell word - coulda just been "the trio", but noooo) stared at McGonagall as she prowled away.

"Did Professor McGonagall just _smirk,_ and _prowl_?" Hermione asked in shock. Ron nodded hesitantly.

McGonagall quickly prowled to the dungeons, or more specifically, _Snape's office._ Once inside, McGonagall cackled evilly, and the hour was almost up.

Four, three, two, one..

Snape was still cackling evilly when the hour ended, and he quickly remembered himself. He swept over to his desk and dumped the remains of the Polyjuice Potion he'd drunken. Snape cackled evilly again. Now Potter had _two_ detentions, and thirty points minus-ed. "Bwhahahahahahaha!" Snape came out of his office and into the dungeon that his classroom was in, composed and glaring at the world.

Meanwhile...

Harry and the gang were still looking at the place where McGonagall had left in shock. That must have been Snape! Snape was the only one in this school that _prowled_! He must be stopped! Harry continued in this manner until he realized that not only was he not saying this out-loud, but he also wasn't even thinking it. So then Harry said it out-loud, and everyone (except Hermione and Ginny) agreed. So really, only Ron agreed. But still.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry. "_Obviously_ that was Snape under Polyjuice. But I find it rather odd that he 'only' did it to torment you, Harry." Hermione over-thought things at times. This was one of those times. Harry shrugged. Snape _was_ an 'odd' person, after all. Ginny suddenly leapt up.

"I'm going to be late for my first class!" And it was those parting words that shocked Hermione back into her "ehmigawd I'm going to be late for class and that would be _awful_ because we need to get the learning-mobile and _quickly_!" mode. She dragged Harry and Ron out to Herbology. Of course, the second they were out of the entrance hall and onto the grounds did they realize that it was very cold. And it was very wet. Because it was raining. And the rain was cold.

"Harry, just conjure a an umbrella, already! We're _late_ for Herbology!" Three guesses who said that, and the first two don't count. Harry waved his wand, hoping an umbrella appeared so he didn't actually have to remember the umbrella conjuring spell. Lo-and behold! An umbrella! ...That looked eerily like Hagrid's... Grabbing the umbrella, Hermione dragged Harry and Ron to Herbology (again).

On the way, they saw a tree branch, struggling to stay attached to the tree, but the doxies were against it. They didn't want the branch to stay alive, they wanted to _kill _it! Viciously and brutally _murder_ it, so they can brag to their doxy friends, "_We_ killed a tree branch yesterday, what did _you_ do? Get paralyzed and thrown in a bucket? Hah!" The tree branch fought bravely, until another heard of doxies came, but this seemed to anger the doxies that were already at the tree branch, so the old doxies, who were already angry at the tree branch for not dying, decided to _kill_ the other doxies! Those _vicious,_ doxy-killing doxies! The tree branch was still fighting its brave fight with gravity, wind, and doxies all against it. The branch had no hope to win, it was losing so badly... the tree branch shuddered, and it fell, to its tragic death.

The trio however, hadn't stayed long enough to see the whole battle, they had just continued on to Herbology, like the rain God (or whatever) was on their tails! And once they got to Herbology, they settled down, and banished the conjured umbrella.


End file.
